Looking for Alibrandi Short Story

A Letter of Hope. As John sat in the bustle ab break through coffee shop and gazed at the blank paper in lie of him, beads of sweat broke across his forehead and trickled slowly push worst his face. How was he meant to write down what he was sense of smell when he couldnt explain it? He knew his emotions were in there somewhere advertizely he just couldnt reach them. They were locked tight, stuffed somewhere fat down. He was easily numb and that was something that terrified him. It was as if the numbness was pulling him into a stark hole. He was trapped, unable to scram out. His legal opinions were jumbled and out of sync. He couldnt tell if what he was feeling was real.Was he capable of feeling emotions anymore? It was as if John was a ghost. Doing what he had to do to get by the day. Doing what he could to make his beget proud. That wasnt living in his opinion. It was entirely existing. His hands started to tremble. Looking up at Josie he studied her. She had a look of pure concentration on her face as she wrote everything down. He couldnt help but envy her. Sure her heart wasnt perfect but it was a hell of a lot wear out than his. She could choose her own career without being screamed at for hours on end. She could get superstar bad grade without being told she was a failure.She didnt pick up to be perfect, and she was beginning to slowly understand that. That was something John would kill for. crimson his best wasnt enough. John had tried his best to please his father he studied harder than anyone else he knew. Hed sacrificed so overmuch to try and make his father proud, but nonhing was ever earnest enough. John closed his eyes and leaned his head back thinking of all(prenominal) the quantify he was put down by his father. Pain welled up from deep inside him. He thought of the times he was told he was hated or not good enough just because hed been beaten in a math competition.He thought of the times he had come home to his father o pening his mail then(prenominal) calling him worthless when the results werent up to his standard. The times his father wouldnt speak to him because he hadnt got the perfect mark. Maybe his father not talking to him would have been a relief if it lasted more than an hour. John was get-go to get more and more tired every day. Tired of the ageless pressure, tired of not meeting expectations and of not being able to persist his life the way he wanted. But most of all he was tired of the constant nagging voice in his head. The voice that wouldnt leave him alone.The voice that was the cause of so many nightmares. If John could be who his father wanted him to be then he would. But he just wasnt capable of that anymore. He was sure of it there was no way that he could reach his fathers larger than life expectations. It just wasnt possible. His father always wanted that little bout more. He finally decided that it was time to share how he was feeling with someone else and that person w ould be Josie. He bounced his legs absentmindedly, took a deep confidential information and with his heart pounding in his chest he started to write down the words that had plagued his mind for the last few months.He wrote the words he hadnt had the courage to say to himself. Can you fulfil what I see? No I dont think you can I see images of zipper and I attempt to make that nothingness mean something as hard as I try there is quiet nothing and that nothing is meaningless I am somewhere else now, outside I am surrounded by people and the blueness of the sky but still nothing has changed everything remains the same I am still alone. As John finished writing he let out a breath. He raked his hands through his hair nervously. He thought it over one last time. Was he really ready to bare his soul to Josie?Taking another deep breath to help tranquillise his nerves, John folded the letter and sealed it with some sticky tape. With his hands frisson he handed over his most private tho ughts to Josie. After they had change letters they said their goodbyes and went their separate ways. Once John got outside he looked up to the hazy sky and let out a perilous laugh full of relief. Maybe just maybe Josie would be the one to save him originally it was too late. He hoped that she would open the letter before graduation and help him put back together the shattered pieces of his life. Because deep down that broken boy wanted to live more than anything in the world.